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10 March 2010 @ 08:16 pm
Welcome to the Mundane  
Life really hasn't been going as I've been wanting it to, but does it ever? It's been one year since I've received my GED (having dropped out senior year in Sept 09 to help with my mother) and I had planned to enlist in the army to earn money for school, but with their strict recruiting standards, I've been jumping through hoops just to get in. It's been taking so long and I've passed on so many opportunities because of it, that I've decided just to put it all on hold. Why won't the army just let me in? I'm a perfectly healthy 18 year old female with absolutely no criminal record and have met the educational requirements. The reason? When I was 15, my mother thought I was clinically depressed and had my doctor put me on anti-depressants. I've been off of that medication for almost two years now and since it is required by law that I tell the military that I had in fact taken any sort of medication for mood disorders (i.e. depression), I need to receive a waiver from a doctor at MEPS. I've already had my physical and had taken my ASVAB, but that wait for a waiver is what has recruiters putting me on the back burner.

Not wanting to do nothing for any longer, I've decided to start classes at a local college just so I can at least say my life is on the right track. What do I want to do? I want to go into military nursing as a career. First things first, take all the prerequisite courses for nursing school. Once I have those finished, I plan to try for the army again since those classes will have me up to my eyeballs in student debt. I have done my FAFSA and do not apply for any of the student aid, only student loans. Apparently an unemployed teenager living in a household of an annual income of $42,000 should be able to afford the thousands of dollars for just one semester of classes. That's another thing, the economy in the state of Oregon sucks at the moment. People aren't wanting to hire 18 year olds with a high school education and no prior job experience and the few that are (i.e. McDonald's or Taco Bell), just aren't hiring. I have a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach.

What's the worst part of it all? Well, aside from my pointless rants on this pathetic little blog that I call my own, I really don't have anyone to voice my concerns to that won't throw everything I say into my face. My mother was the one person I could talk to about absolutely everything there was to talk about. Since her death in October 2009, I can't help but feel that I need to bottle everything up inside. I try to talk to my friends, but although they listen, they can't relate to what I say. They're all from higher upper middle class families that do not have a financial worry in the world.

This summer, my family and I are going to Ohio to visit family. Maybe over there I'll be able to find something to do... Live with one of my brothers' or my grandparents' house while working to go to class. Things must be better over there than in Oregon, but you never know.

Thanks for reading my mindless drabble. It feels good to just type it all out.
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bleedinghate94bleedinghate94 on March 11th, 2010 06:34 pm (UTC)
Understanding...
I know how you feel about not being to talk to anyone that has no idea what you feel like. I'm in a simialar position that you are in. Except i'm still only a sophmore in high school and i'm advanced minded compared to my peers and need someone to talk to, but have no body who can understand what my ranting actually means.

Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, i'll happily sit back and listen... or in this case read. I'll try to help you the best I can, with what knowledge on the problems i've suffered.